Meet the Squadra

Born in the dark days of the worldwide recession amidst skyrocketing oil prices, Squadra 0170 is a tribute to those whom have gone before. Those chosen few who weathered pain, famine, war and whims of Italian machinery to rise above adversity. Those who have risked it all for the greater glory of a golden chalice. To become famous; if only for the Warhol 15 minutes, only to see it crumble into the dust of obscurity overshadowed by lesser mortals.

Squadra 0170’s sole purpose of existence is to laugh in the face of those who would dominate us. AIG executives who would not return bonuses, Oil company CEO’s who make more than the gross national product of Sardinia and time-share salesmen offering a free cruise. To those oppressors we say plfth! In the spirit of Marcello Vittorio Volare we come to establish a new era of Alfa domination in racing. Neither rain nor snow nor radius of hairpin will keep us from our appointed destiny, unless of course a wheel falls off or we suffer some other unfortunate malady.

Pseudo Team Leader Rick, a veteran of many failed attempts, strikes the tone for The Team. The same free-spending spirit he employs at his “regular job” funding the U. S. Navy’s fleet programs will fit right into employing the unlimited budget (up to $500 US) we have in preparing our Alfa for the coming match. Be not taken in by his goofy grin, his aw shucks demeanor and the tomato sauce on his mustache, this former Swift Boat Captain is prepared to lay his life on the line, just as did the late Marcello, for the greater glory of The Team.

Lead driver/mechanic Tom, a legend in his own mind, knows more about Alfa Romeos, racing and mechanics than any person alive or dead. But don’t take my word for it just ask him, he’ll tell you. Tom is what you would call a Big Guy. By that we mean he can change the CG of the car just by lifting one cheek to pass gas. Comes in pretty handy on those tight left-handers. Tom’s major function; however, is to keep Squadra 0170’s machine in prime condition. Ready, if you will, to leap off the starting line and careen into history. Picture Meatloaf in Bat Out of Hell, only with short hair.

That leaves Brad, he Terror of Toano, whose sole purpose is to feign interest, keep the beer iced and try and not hold up the back markers too much. To expect much else would not only be amusing, but quite hopeless as well. It is rumored that he is quite the ladies man so keep your daughters and wives locked up until he is safely strapped in behind the wheel. The best that can be said for him is that once he gets a couple of drinks in him he really isn’t too bad a guy. He likes to have a shot or two before the competition starts, “to calm the nerves,” just as he does before he steps into the cockpit to fly an airliner in his “day job.”

This, then, is the modern day Squadra 0170. Men of Brio. Men of Danger. Men of Class. We bring new meaning to the term Grit. It’s what’s in our souls. It’s what’s in our teeth. It’s what’s in our OLIO.

The Legend of 0170

Marcello Vittorio Volare was born in the small Italian twin villages of Cacare-Bomba on June 19th, 1900. Growing up in a poor family, he worked as child laborer in what was one of Italy’s first automotive factories, Cacare-Bomba Anonima Costruzione Automobili (CACA). The Cacare-Bomba car essentially signaled the start of Italy’s long, proud automotive history. Even today, mention of the word CACA is almost synonymous with Italian car reliability and build quality.

As an unskilled child laborer, one of Marcello’s jobs was to test drive finished vehicles at the company’s dirt track. He was required to do a certain number of laps to “run-in” the engine and he was paid per number of vehicles completed. It was here he probably developed his love of racing – either that or he was afraid his Italian mother would beat the hell out of him if he didn’t bring back enough money for the day’s work. Either way, he became a highly skilled driver.

In 1916, CACA ceased producing automobiles to tool-up in a joint venture with Fiat to produce Italy’s first armored tank, the Fiat model 2000. The first prototype was delivered in 1917 and by the end of the war only six tanks were produced. The Fiat 2000 never saw combat; it turns out the transmission only worked in reverse gear. The Cacare-Bomba factory sold its tooling to Fiat and went out of business due to its long absence from the automobile market.

Meanwhile, Marcello was hired by Alfa Romeo as a test driver. Even though he was only 16 at the time, his experience, combined with a lack of adult males (due to World War I conscription), made him an easy choice for Alfa’s first race team. Also, with his swarthy, southern Italian appearance (he started shaving at 11 years of age), most people assumed he was in his 20’s.

In 1917, Alfa Romeo was ready to enter its first ever race, which coincidentally, was also the first 24 hours of LeMons. Marcello was scheduled to be the team’s only driver in what turned out to be one of the most tragic days in racing history.

The race started well with Alfa Romeo leaping out to an early lead. After 30 minutes, the car was black-flagged due to rusty rocker panels. This was quickly patched with the best material available of that era – a substance which roughly translates to “vulcanized vermicelli”. It was the same material the Italian team used to patch their tires. At +47 minutes, the second gear synchro was completely gone, forcing Marcello to run in third gear for the rest of the race. At +53 minutes, the fan blade grenaded as a result of sagging motor mounts. Unfortunately, this knocked a hole in the oil pan, allowing all 16 quarts to leak out onto the track. The Alfa Romeo team was caught flat-footed – due to the war time shortages, they had no additional engine oil. Frantic for an oil substitute, a young mechanic, Nino Ferrari (younger brother of Enzo), was sent out to the local market to procure some type of suitable lubricant. His first thought was olive oil, but this being war time, it was in short supply and very expensive. The next best thing he could find was mustard oil, of which he purchased all he could carry and rushed back to the track.

This turned out to be a tragic mistake. Once the mustard oil reached operating temperature, it started blowing by the worn valve guides in the Alfa engine. This in turn resulted in mustard gas being spewed out of the exhaust. By the time Marcello realized what was happening, all the other cars had dropped out of the race due to the toxic gas cloud he was producing. With the spectators now gagging and fleeing in panic, Marcello had a difficult decision to make: stop his car and risk being overcome by the deadly fumes, or keep driving until the engine was out of oil.

As we all know, despite the chance of certain death, Marcello did stop his engine. Several soldiers who were watching the race donned gas masks and succeeded in pulling him from his car. Unfortunately for Marcello, it was too late – he succumbed to his injuries on the very next day, his 17th birthday. In honor of his selfless deed, (technically Alfa Romeo’s first win), all Alfas have a gold engine cap bearing the inscription 0170. It signifies the both the birth date of Alfa’s first race car driver, born on the 170th day of 1900 (0-170), and the fact that he died on his 17th birthday (0-17-0). Interestingly, to this day all Alfa Romeo models seem to develop rusty rocker panels and have second gear synchro failures. Alfa Romeo refuses to comment on why they haven't been able to correct these particular deficiencies after almost 100 years in business.

Anyway, that’s how the story goes.